What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands?

What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands? When it comes to abusive husbands or domestic violence, there is much that the Bible says. Behold, God does not endorse domestic violence nor gives permission to any spouse to abuse the other be it physically, emotionally, psychologically or spiritually. It is God’s will that spouses enjoy their marriage in love, unity, happiness, and peace. And as followers of Christ, it is our duty to strive for peace, love, happiness, unity, and holiness. Hence, if you are an abusive spouse, submit to the heart-changing power of the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. Repent and turn to God for He is willing to forgive and give you a new life in His Son. If you are being abused by your spouse, come to God in prayer for a change. Bring your load to Jesus Christ who is willing to help.

As a husband, you must not abuse your wife. The Bible calls on you to love, care, and provide for her. By so doing, God will bless you abundantly in this life and in that to come. Learn to forgive. A husband plays a very important role in the family unit which was established by God. The very primary role of the husband in the Bible starts with leadership. The Holy Scripture makes it very clear unto the understanding of everyone that a husband must be a leader of his home and maintain healthy control over his life. According to 1 Timothy 3 which speaks of two church leadership positions traditionally filled by men, an Overseer and Deacon must manage their family well. In a more specific way, verse 5 says, “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”

What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands?

According to the Bible, husbands are being called to lead their families in the ways of God. As previously mentioned, leading is influencing. Note here that we are not saying that husbands are dictators but leaders. Biblically, husbands have been called to influence their wives, and families in accordance with Biblical teachings. Husbands are to exemplify, with words and actions, attributes that bring glory to God and value their spouse and offspring. In simple words, we can say that the fruits of a Biblically-based husband is a confident, strong, and spiritually mature wife and family. Provision and Protection are two very specific ways through which a husband influences his home. Although the role of the husband in the Bible starts with leadership, it also encompasses provision and protection.

Likewise, Ephesians 5:21-24 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” In the same light, 1 Corinthians 11:3 says, “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
With this in mind, we can say without a doubt that one of the primary roles of the husband in the Bible is to lead. In simple terms, leadership here means influence. A husband should influence his family in the light of God’s ways.

What The Scriptures Say About Abusive Husbands And Domestic Violence

The Bible tells us that God loves His daughters and the children that they bear. Whenever God gives one of His daughters to a man, He desires that the man love, care, protect, and provide for her. In no way does the Scripture teach that women and children be considered second rate or inferior to men. God finds them so special that He asks for special care to be given them; care that only Biblically-based men can provide. It is without a doubt that women are quite capable of taking care of themselves. However, God created men and women to be physically different. And due to the physical nature and strength that God gave men, He has charged them with the provision and protection of their families. However, the physical nature and strength of a man are to be managed with grace and gentleness.

There is no way that a husband can influence his wife if he does not care for her. He can demand and she may follow as a result, but he will never truly have her heart unless he provides for her needs, cares for her needs, and protects her both physically and spiritually. In support of this, 1 Timothy 5:8 says, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Likewise Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” In addition, 1 Peter 3:7 reads “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

More on what the Scriptures say about abusive husbands as well as domestic violence

God did not create men to lord over women nor did He create women to simply sit back and wait on men. Rather, He made them complement each other through a healthy companionship. Being a good companion is one of the roles of a husband in the Bible. In fact, the role of the husband in the Bible is fulfilled through the heart of companionship.

It is in this light that Ephesians 5:25-33 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Facts On What The Bible Says About Abusive Husbands

God should always be the head in every relationship between a husband and a wife. This relationship in question is to be governed or based on love, sincerity, faithfulness, respect, support, forgiveness, and commitment. Both partners are to help each other, comfort each other, love each other, and live a happy life together. Such is the ideal model of marriage which is portrayed at the beginning of the Bible with the creation of Eve.

Genesis 2:20-24 says, “…But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Behold, God created men and women with natural, physical, and emotional differences. Usually where one is weak, the other is strong. Thus, a husband and wife can help each other by meeting the other person’s needs through physical and emotional intimacy.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5 addresses this, “But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

When the needs of each spouse are met rightly, the two can help each other as they live a successful relationship. Through their companionship, a husband and wife work together to grow a family. God’s plan was that every home operates under the guidance of both a husband and a wife and that through this, they raise healthy children that fear and obey His ways.

In support of this, Ephesians 6:1-3 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ —which is the first commandment with a promise— ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’”

What The Bible Says About Being A Christian Husband

Truth be told, the Bible says much about being a Christian Husband that an entire book could be written on it. In fact, as of the time of putting up this article, many books have been written based on what the Bible says about being a Christian husband. Ephesians 5:15–33 clearly portrays a picture of what it means to be a Christian husband. Here, Apostle Paul speaks on what it means to be in Christ, that is, to be in a right relationship with God Almighty. Beginning in verse 23, we can read Apostle Paul’s instructions to the Christian wife whereby he explains that she is to recognize in her husband the kind of leader that Christ is to His beloved Church. In verse 25, Apostle Paul directly says the same thing to the Christian husband.

ALSO READ Wisdom And Foolishness In Proverbs

The Christian’s model for husbandly conduct is Jesus Christ Himself. In simple words, God expects Christian husbands to love their wives fully, sacrificially, and unconditionally, the same way that Christ our savior loves us. The Christian husband is expected to be willing to give everything, including his lifeblood, if necessary, for the benefit and welfare of his wife and family. God’s plan is that the husband and wife become one (Mark 10:8), so what the husband has belongs to the wife. Always remember that there is no selfishness in love (1 Corinthians 13:5); there is only giving which is made out of love. The Christian husband’s feelings for his wife should go beyond romance, infatuation, or sexual desire. Such a relationship is based on true love – the God-reflecting, God-given spirit of sacrifice.

More on what the Bible says about being a Christian husband

The Christian husband is more interested in his wife’s well-being more than his own. As a fellow-heir of eternal life, he promotes her spiritual well-being (1 Peter 3:7). Instead of asking what he can get from her, he thinks of what he can be and do for her. Ephesians 5 tells us how a loving Christian husband is the instrument of Christ’s love for his Church. Many times, a Christian husband is also a father. Whatever the case, just note that the Christian roles of a husband and father are interwoven. God created man and woman as sexual beings for a good number of reasons. One of these is the joy of perpetuating the race, of populating the entire Earth with generations of people who bear God’s name and reflect His image. The husband is the head of the family just as Christ is the head of the Church.

What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands?

Malachi 2:15-16 – “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”“

1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.“

Ephesians 5:25-29 – “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,“

Group 1 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

1 Corinthians 7:12-16 – “To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?“

Mark 10:2-12 – “And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ …“

1 Corinthians 7:15 – “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.“

1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.“

ALSO READ Is Depression A Sin In The Bible?

Group 2 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

Matthew 19:3-9 – “And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” …“

Psalm 118:1-18 – “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! Let Israel say, “His steadfast love endures forever.” Let the house of Aaron say, “His steadfast love endures forever.” Let those who fear the Lord say, “His steadfast love endures forever.” Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. …“

John 6:10 – “Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, about five thousand in number.“

John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.“

1 Corinthians 7:2 – “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”

Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.“

Group 3 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

Ephesians 5:28-29 – “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,“

Proverbs 22:10 – “Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.”

Hebrews 13:4 – “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,“

1 Corinthians 7:11 – “(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.“

Psalm 55:20-21 – “My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant. His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.“

Ecclesiastes 9:9 – “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.”

Group 4 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 – “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.“

1 Corinthians 7:1-11 – “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ...”

1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.“

1 Timothy 5:8 – “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Group 5 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

Ephesians 5:25-33 – “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, …“

1 Corinthians 7:1-7 – “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. …”

Group 6 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

Ephesians 5:28 – “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.“

Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.“

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”

Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.“

Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,“

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.“

ALSO READ I Have Come That You May Have Life, And Have It Abundantly

Group 7 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

1 Peter 3:1-22 – “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, …“

Ephesians 5:22-33 – “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, …“

Colossians 3:18 – “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.“

Group 8 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

Ephesians 5:31 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Ephesians 5:33 – “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Hebrews 13:4 – “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.“

James 1:1-27 – “James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. …“

Ephesians 5:23 – “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

1 Corinthians 11:3 – “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

Genesis 3:16 – To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

Group 9 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

1 Corinthians 7:2 – “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”

Matthew 5:28 – “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.“

1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.“

Colossians 3:18-19 – “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.“

Ephesians 5:1-33 – “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. …”

Group 10 – What Does The Bible Say About Emotionally Abusive Husbands

Ephesians 5:22 – “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

Proverbs 16:1 – “The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.“

1 Peter 3:1 – “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,“

Ephesians 5:22-24 – “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.“

Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

1 Peter 4:8 – “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.“

Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.“

Matthew 19:4-6 – He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Proverbs 19:14 – “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”