Learn everything about Surviving Abuse. I Am A Victim Of Abuse. Why do I feel guilty? Over time, the word abuse has been given several meanings. At its pronunciation, many people are more likely to perceive anger or some form of physical violence involved. However, this is a simplistic and often misleading view of abuse. Note that anger is an emotion that God gave us to alert us to problems. Following this, we can say that righteous anger is not sinful and should not be associated with abuse. Mishandling anger will likely lead to a sinful, abusive response, but it’s a sinful heart, not the emotion of anger, that is the root cause of abuse. Today, we make use of the word abuse to describe the mistreatment or misuse of virtually anything. In this light, we speak of the abuse of drugs, alcohol, trust, institutions, and objects.
All forms of abuse (misuse or mismanagement) are sinful and should be avoided by Christians. It is important to understand that such mistreatment or misuse is motivated by selfishness and results in damage and destruction. Although people abuse others for several reasons, selfishness underlies abuse. In as much as abuse can be harsh, it can as well be subtle. Unfortunately, emotional abuse can be difficult to detect because there is no observable evidence of the abuse, but that doesn’t mean the effects are any less painful or destructive. Some examples of emotional abuse include verbal attacks, manipulation, criticism, deceit, favoritism, withheld expressions of love, and threats. Note that anyone can be an abuser, regardless of age, ethnicity, gender, and/or background. Likewise, anyone can be abused.
Surviving Abuse
The Scriptures call on us to love rather than abuse others (John 13:34). Taking advantage of or abusing others is something highly condemned in the Scriptures (Exodus 22:22; Isaiah 10:2; 1 Thessalonians 4:6). It is worth pointing out the fact that victims of abuse can be ensnared in a cycle that is very difficult to break. Luckily enough, With God All Things Are Possible. If we call on Him for help in the name of Jesus, He will certainly see us through. Amazingly, the Lord Jesus cares for His followers and has laid down His life to demonstrate His love for them (1 Peter 5:7). Jesus Christ will most assuredly comfort, vindicate, and heal those in pains and sufferings caused by any form of abuse (John 10:11-15).
As Christians, we should not replicate the abuse that we were victims of to others. Rather, we should seek true healing from Jesus while replicating His Love to others. Remember that the Bible calls on us to love not only our friends but even those who hurt us. We are to love even our enemies and do good to those who hate us while praying that they may see the light from Jesus Christ and change (Luke 6:27-36). While in search of help to recover from past hurts, it is advisable to visit pastoral or Biblical counseling or a small group of believers where people can help bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:1-10). The Lord Jesus Christ will certainly equip us with what it takes to do what He called us to do, which is to love one another as He loves us.
Powerful Tips On How To Overcome The Pain Of Past Abuse
An abused person is someone who has not been treated the way God intended him or her to be treated. Such ill-treatment is likely to leave wounds, pains, bitterness, or hurtful feelings that can be felt all through a victim’s life if not properly dealt with in the light of God’s healing and restoration power through Jesus Christ. Abuse comes in many forms: emotional, verbal, spiritual, sexual, mental, and physical. Abuse during childhood happens to be the most devastating form of abuse as it shapes the way the child views the world as from then on. In the same light, childhood sexual abuse violates and distorts a person’s sexuality and identity. It is also considered as a betrayal of trust, since most abuse comes from an adult the child trusted. Abuse affects the victim’s self-worth and often creates big barriers in future relationships if not properly handled.
Amazingly, God does not see us in the light of the abuse. God sees what He created: persons individually made in His Image (Genesis 1:27). God is eager to restore us for the purpose for which He created us. The only One who can define us is God because He is our Creator. You should not allow abuse to define you or lower your self-esteem. Nothing can change God’s definition about you. No abuse, mistake, sin, or tragedy can override what God has declared to be true. However, we can choose to defy, reject His healing, and walk away from eternal life (John 3:16–18). But when we surrender ourselves to Him, He heals and restores us. Although we can’t erase the memories of past abuse, we can render them powerless by allowing God to give us a new identity or make us new creatures in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
What The Scriptures Say About Abuse
As Christians, we are to stand against abuse in all its forms. While children have no responsibility for abuse suffered in childhood, they tend to carry its effects into adulthood by repeating the patterns. Having this in mind, it is of great importance to have children protected from abuse. It is sad and unfortunate that abusive parents are cursing their children rather than blessing them as they ought (Psalm 112:2; Proverbs 20:7). The Bible clearly portrays abuse as sin because Christ has revealed Himself as Love and has commanded all His followers to love one another (John 13:34). As a matter of fact, abuse disregards others and is the opposite of this command. An abuser desires to satisfy his natural selfishness regardless of the consequences to himself or others. The Bible strongly condemns taking advantage of or abusing others (Exodus 22:22; Isaiah 10:2; 1 Thessalonians 4:6).
However, everyone is guilty of abuse at some level, because everyone falls short of God’s command to love others sacrificially. Behold, only the love of Jesus Christ in us can truly love others; therefore, real love only exists in those who have accepted Jesus as their savior (Romans 8:10). Only Jesus Christ can truly heal the wounds left by abuse (Psalm 147:3). Unfortunately, many hurting people are waiting for the abuser to come to repair the damage he/she caused. While it is good for the abuser to take responsibility and make amends to those he hurt, it is Jesus who grants peace to those in pain. Keep in mind that Jesus is neither unaware nor apathetic to those who suffer, especially children (Mark 10:14-16). This should be a reminder for us that we are accountable for the suffering that we cause to others.
More facts from the Bible
In 1 Corinthians 13, the Lord God Almighty tells us what love is as well as what it is not. “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs‚ It always protects‚” (vs. 4-7 NIV). In the same light, Proverbs 19:19 says, “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” Likewise, Malachi 2:16 says, “The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect,’ says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”
Characteristics of emotional abuse
By emotional abuse, we mean any nonphysical behavior or attitude that intimidates, controls, demeans, subjugates, isolates, or punishes another person by using fear, degradation, or humiliation. Screaming, yelling, and name-calling are all forms of emotional abuse, as are more subtle tactics such as refusing to be pleased with anything, invading another’s thoughts and/or feelings as well as isolating an individual from family and friends. Some effects of emotional abuse include depression, confusion, difficulty concentrating, and making decisions, strong feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and up to some extent poor physical health. Below are some examples of emotionally abusive behaviors:
- Withholding affection and emotional support
- Humiliating and degrading
- Accusing and blaming
- Discounting, distorting, and negating
- Isolating
- Threatening harm to an individual’s pets, possessions, or person
- Dismissive, disapproving, or contemptuous looks, comments, or behavior
- Withholding financial resources
Why does a person abuse his/her friend, spouse, coworker, or relative?
While the reasons that lead to abuse are many and complex, most experts believe that abuse is rooted in selfishness and/or unresolved childhood trauma. It takes Jesus Christ for an abuser to overcome His destructive patterns of behavior. Ephesians 5:21-24 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
It is rather unfortunate that in regard to abuse within a marriage, some misinterpret Ephesians 5:22 which says “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” That is, they wrongly use this Scripture to justify abusive behavior in marriage. Concerning this matter, the Scriptures clearly reveal that the marriage relationship is to reflect Christ’s relationship with His church-one of sacrificial love. It is without a doubt that a wife is called to respond to her husband’s biblical headship, not to his destructive and sinful behavior, just as the wife’s mandate is to respect and treat her husband well. It is important to understand that God does not condone abuse in any of its forms.
Sexual abuse in the Bible
It is rather unfortunate that sexual abuse has been a plague on society for thousands of years. Even the Old Testament of the Bible clearly contains tragic stories of sexual abuse, incest, and rape. The Biblical book of 2 Samuel reveals that Amnon, the son of David, contrived to get his half-sister, Tamar, alone and have sex with her.
“But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her, and said to her, ‘Come, lie with me, my sister.’ She answered him, ‘No, my brother, do not force me; for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do anything so vile!… But he would not listen to her; and being stronger than she was, he forced her and lay with her…Her brother Absalom said to her, ‘Has Amnon your brother been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother; do not take this to heart.’ So Tamar remained, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house.” – 2 Samuel 13:11-12, 14, 20
More on sexual abuse in the Bible as well as how to handle sexual abuse
As we can clearly observe, even in ancient days, victims were told to keep the abuse a secret as it was the case with Tamar. Amazingly, Scripture continuous to talk about the brothers, the father, and the consequences for them. However, not much is said about Tamar. The Scripture simply makes us understand that she remained desolate in her brother’s house. That is, she was locked in the silence, violation, shame, and trauma of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her own half-brother.
“The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners…to provide for those who mourn in Zion – to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit. They will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, to display his glory. ” – Isaiah 61:1, 3
Several years later and even today, millions of children and adolescents are victims of sexual abuse and carry the wounds of that abuse into their adulthood, living in the same desolate conditions as Tamar. However, in sharp contrast to remaining desolate, is Christ’s promise of healing for those who are wounded. The Biblical book of Isaiah 61:1,3 clearly describes the promise of transformation and healing through our Redeemer, Jesus Christ. The Bible beautifully describes God’s call for us to accept His offer for healing and to walk with one another in love along the healing journey as we move out of darkness and silence into His amazing light through Christ that raises our voices in hope and joy.
Domestic violence in the Bible
The Bible is against domestic violence and rather promotes love, compassion, forgiveness, unity, and understanding among all. We can narrowly define domestic violence as an act or threatened act of violence upon someone with whom the perpetrator is or has previously been in an intimate relationship. The term domestic violence often brings to mind the concept of the “battered wife” or perhaps a married couple’s verbal argument escalating into a physical assault. Likewise, domestic violence can as well be linked to child abuse. Note that abuse can be physical as well as emotional. That is, although the term violence has physical connotations, domestic violence or abuse can occur in non-physical ways. For example, abusers can manipulate their victims through emotional or economic means. Verbal abuse and sexual abuse are other forms. Whatever the form, it is important to understand that the Bible is against such practices.
Should you take care of the parents who abused you?
Truthfully speaking, growing up in an abusive home can leave scars many spend a lifetime trying to overcome. However, for the affected Christians, what do they owe their abusive parents? Are they supposed to honor and take care of the parents who abused them? Behold, these are some of the questions that we’ll be giving elements of answers to. The truth is, many in the church have asked themselves these very questions over time. Behold, neglect, and abuse are more widespread than most are aware of or acknowledge. Colossians 3:21(NIV) commands, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Likewise, 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 tells us that there are serious consequences for those who destroy God’s temple (His people).
I Corinthians 3:16-17 (NIV) warns, “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.” Whatever be the situation of abuse that you’ve been subjected to, we know that God is always moving in the direction of healing, and He desires His children to move in the direction of healing as well. That is, finding the power and strength in Jesus Christ to forgive and love your abuser as Christ completely heals you from the abuse that they subjected you to. Bring your load to Christ and He will give you rest. Remember that one of God’s names in the Bible is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord Who Heals. Psalm 147:3 (NIV) says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Do Christians owe their abusers anything?
As followers of Christ, it is our duty to honor and keep His teachings. He commanded and taught us how to love and forgive our neighbors; including those who hurt us. As Christians, we are to forgive those who hurt us and show them the love of Christ. We are to do this just as our Heavenly Father forgives us. Regarding abusive parents, one is likely to ask how he/she can honor the parent who did nothing to honor them or care for them. Exodus 20:12 (NIV) clearly tells us, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” It would be easier if God had only asked us to honor our parents if they are loving, good, and kind to us, but the command of Exodus 20:12 is “Honor your father and mother,” period.
There are many damaged and hurt people who find the commandment in Exodus 20:12 difficult to obey. Whatever be the depth of pains you went through, remember that the right thing to do is to forgive and call on Jesus Christ to heal and restore you. Remember that the Holy Spirit can soften even the strongest of hearts thereby creating room for forgiveness and healing. All you need to do is to bring your worries to Christ who will definitely relieve you. Our Heavenly Father desires only our good and never to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11). Likewise, it is important to understand that the Lord God Almighty will use everything, even horrible acts, for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Thus, by the grace of God, be willing to forgive and let go of the pains of the past as you hold strong to Christ.
More on how to handle abuse as a Christian
Behold, the Bible commands honor but not remaining a prisoner in a dysfunctional family. It is without a doubt that families with a destructive cycle of sin are dangerous, and children who break free need to find safety in the family of God – which is every Christian’s true family (Matthew 10:35–38). Note that dysfunctional families are fraught with addiction, codependence, violence, and an absence of safe boundaries. These traits will be more like a millstone around the neck, dragging the child towards the same sinful patterns. Successfully removing oneself from an abusive situation is much like overcoming addiction; when a person desires sobriety, he cannot associate with drug addicts or people who abuse drugs. While keeping a safe distance, you should pray and/or fast for them while showing them love and hoping that God’s Spirit touches and renews their minds.
By focusing on our relationship with Christ, we can experience true healing. It is clear that without salvation, there is no hope for anyone, but in Christ, we are new creations able to do anything that He calls us to do (2 Corinthians 5:17). You could be the light that leads your abusers (who could be your parents, friends, co-workers, neighbors, spouse, or siblings) to repentance and salvation (1 Corinthians 9:19). Just as Jesus loved us in our sinful state, we can love and honor an abusive parent as well as a friend, sibling, neighbor, co-worker, or spouse. This is all about showing grace and compassion even to those we think do not deserve it. Hebrews 12:14 says, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”
Surviving Abuse
Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Ephesians 4:31 – “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”
1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Psalm 9:9 – “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”
Colossians 3:21 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.“
1 Corinthians 7:15 – “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.“
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
Psalm 11:5 – “The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.”
Group 1 – Surviving Abuse
Proverbs 22:10 – “Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.”
Proverbs 10:11 – “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.”
James 1:19-20 – “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.“
Galatians 5:19-21 – “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.“
Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.“
Group 2 – Surviving Abuse
Matthew 18:15-17 – “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.“
James 5:16 – “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
James 1:26 – “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.“
James 3:10 – “From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.“
2 Timothy 3:1-8 – “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. …“
Group 3 – Surviving Abuse
James 4:1-17 – “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. ..”
Matthew 19:8 – He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 – “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way;“
Proverbs 19:19 – “A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again.“
Psalm 103:6 – “The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.”
Exodus 22:22 – “You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.“
Romans 12:19 – Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
1 Peter 5:7 – “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.“
Hebrews 13:3 – “Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.”
Group 4 – Surviving Abuse
Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
Zephaniah 1:9 – “On that day I will punish everyone who leaps over the threshold, and those who fill their master’s house with violence and fraud.”
Psalm 72:14 – “From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.”
1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 – “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.“
Group 5 – Surviving Abuse
James 4:7 – “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.“
Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.“
Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Ephesians 5:28-29 – “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,”
Malachi 2:16 – “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.“
Group 6 – Surviving Abuse
1 Peter 3:1-22 – “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ...”
Malachi 2:16-17 – “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” You have wearied the Lord with your words. But you say, “How have we wearied him?” By saying, “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and he delights in them.” Or by asking, “Where is the God of justice?”
1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.“
Group 7 – Surviving Abuse
Proverbs 22:24 – “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man,”
Ephesians 4:29-32 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; ...”
Ephesians 4:26 – “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,“
Proverbs 10:6 – “Blessings are on the head of the righteous, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.”
John 13:34 – “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
Group 8 – Surviving Abuse
Matthew 5:21-22 – “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”
Galatians 6:1 – “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”
Ecclesiastes 7:26 – “And I find something more bitter than death: the woman whose heart is snares and nets, and whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God escapes her, but the sinner is taken by her.“
1 Corinthians 3:16-17 – “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.”
Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.“
Group 9 – Surviving Abuse
1 Peter 3:8 – “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”
Psalm 140:12 – “I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will execute justice for the needy.”
Matthew 5:32 – “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.“
Titus 3:2 – “To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”
1 Corinthians 5:9-13 – I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”
Group 10 – Surviving Abuse
2 Thessalonians 3:15 – “Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.“
Hebrews 10:24 – “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,“
Mark 9:42 – “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.“
Proverbs 9:7 – “Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.”
Romans 12:17-21 – “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
2 Samuel 22:28 – “You save a humble people, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them down.”
Group 11 – Surviving Abuse
James 5:19-20 – “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”
Luke 4:18-19 – “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Revelation 1:1 – “The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things that must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John,”
Proverbs 29:22 – “A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.”
Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.“
Psalm 146:7 – “Who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets the prisoners free;“
1 John 3:18 – “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.“
Group 12 – Surviving Abuse
Colossians 3:18-21 – “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
James 3:17 – “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.“
2 Peter 1:7 – “And godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.”
Matthew 18:10 – “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.”
Ephesians 5:29 – “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,”
Matthew 15:18-20 – “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.”
Group 13 – Surviving Abuse
Proverbs 19:18 – “Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.”
Jeremiah 22:3 – “Thus says the Lord: Do justice and righteousness, and deliver from the hand of the oppressor him who has been robbed. And do no wrong or violence to the resident alien, the fatherless, and the widow, nor shed innocent blood in this place.”
Proverbs 13:24 – “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
Psalm 10:17-18 – “O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.”
Group 14 – Surviving Abuse
1 Timothy 3:1-6 – “The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? …“
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”
2 Thessalonians 3:6 – “Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us.”
Group 15 – Surviving Abuse
Titus 2:4 – “And so train the young women to love their husbands and children,“
1 Samuel 31:4 – “Then Saul said to his armor-bearer, “Draw your sword, and thrust me through with it, lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and mistreat me.” But his armor-bearer would not, for he feared greatly. Therefore Saul took his own sword and fell upon it.”
Luke 1:37 – “For nothing will be impossible with God.”
Malachi 2:13-16 – And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. …”
Group 16 – Surviving Abuse
Mark 10:14 – But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:18 – “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,”
1 Corinthians 8:9 – “But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.”
Proverbs 22:15 – “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”
Group 17 – Surviving Abuse
Hebrews 12:12 – “Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,“
1 John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.“
Ephesians 5:21 – “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
1 Peter 5:8 – “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.“
Colossians 3:8 – “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”
