Discover the Biblical Counseling Steps. There is much that the Bible says about godly advice, counsel, suggestions, correction, instruction, giving advice, and receiving advice. As faithful Christians, we should seek and follow God’s advice or godly counsel in all that we do, great and small. Failing to follow God’s advice or godly counsel will only lead to sorrow and destruction. We should also welcome godly advice from others including godly parents, spouses, leaders, friends, fellow believers, and loved ones. Seeking wise counsel is a sign of maturity and humility. Importantly, we should not be quick to reject any advice while at the same time making sure that the advice we receive does not go against God’s word. Nevertheless, we should not be too quick to give advice without properly understanding the situation at hand.
Giving advice is good but sometimes we just need to show love and pray. In as much as we are willing to give advice, we should also be willing to listen to and follow good advice, even when it is tough. Wise people appreciate and follow good, godly advice. By following godly advice, we become wise.
Proverbs 19:20 says, “Hear counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction, that you may be wise in the time to come.”
Proverbs 3:12 says, “For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”
Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.“
Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
Biblical Counseling Steps
Brethren, it is without a doubt that life is challenging. Life sometimes presents us with decisions that are not easy to make on our own. In such situations, it is wise for us to pray, read God’s Word, and seek godly advice for guidance. Advice from godly people can be very helpful in such moments of confusion and uncertainty. The Bible explicitly points to the benefit of godly counsel and the damage of ungodly counsel. Proverbs 12:5 says, “The thoughts of the righteous are just; but the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.” As such, it is important that when seeking counsel, we examine the character and values of the person from whom we receive advice. Likewise, we are to consider a person’s motives when evaluating the merit of their advice.
Notice how receiving advice from a person who has a vested interest or potential gain from the decision we make can lead us astray. Surprisingly, there are times when misleading advice can come from people who care about us but give advice based on their own fears, insecurities, or expectations. It’s important for us to seek advice from people who know and love God, seek His will, and will be faithful to the truth of God’s Word. In examining the counsel we give as well as receive from others, we need to ask ourselves the question, “Does this advice fit the character and nature of the Lord God Almighty as portrayed in the Bible?“
1 Thessalonians 5:21 says, “but test everything; hold fast what is good.“
1 Corinthians 2:15 says, “But the spiritual man [the spiritually mature Christian] judges all things [questions, examines and applies what the Holy Spirit reveals], yet is himself judged by no one [the unbeliever cannot judge and understand the believer’s spiritual nature].”
What is Biblical Counseling?
What is Biblical Counseling? Biblical counseling is a fluid event and process in which a Spirit-filled or Spirit-empowered Christian ministers the Word to others. It’s a pastoral activity, a product of the spiritual gift of exhortation. It focuses on the application of God’s Word and Walking in God’s Spirit when dealing with matters of life. This aspect of discipleship is one in which a follower of Jesus Christ in the service of the Holy Spirit provides godly counsel/advice to others. Notice that for the counsel to be Biblical, it must be rooted in God, exalting of Jesus Christ, enabled by the Holy Spirit, and offered in love. For Biblical counseling to be rooted in God, it must acknowledge the sovereignty and authority of God in all things, and rely upon God’s Word for knowledge, wisdom, and direction. Likewise, it should reflect compassion and love.
The Gospel is the Core Message of Biblical Counseling which renews human hearts and sets them on the right path to God. Therefore, our counsel must uphold the deity of Christ, His message, His incarnation, the sufficiency of His wrath-bearing death on the cross, His burial and resurrection, His future or second coming, His present and future kingdom, and His ultimate judgment of the world. Our counsel should present Jesus Christ as Who He Is. As Christians, we live in the service of God’s Spirit. We are His ministers of grace. And as such, we actively trust the Holy Spirit to enable our counsel and transform the lives of the counselees. The relationship between the counselor and the counselee should be filled with and shaped by Biblical love.
1 John 4:7 says, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.“
Biblical Counseling Guidelines
- Actively listen and make sure that you have properly understood the situation at hand before proceeding to speak (Proverbs 20:5).
- Employ discernment (Proverbs 17:28).
- Give a Biblical or Godly counsel (Matthew 5:38).
- Evaluate your counselee’s interest in your advice (Matthew 7:1).
- Trust in God to bring a solution to whatever problem your counselee has (Philippians 2:13).
Understanding the Difference Between Psychology and Biblical Counseling
Secular psychology is centered on the teachings of psychoanalysts such as Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and Carl Rogers. On the other hand, Biblical, or nouthetic, counseling is centered mainly on the revealed Word of God. Biblical counseling regards Scripture as sufficient to equip Christians for every good work (2 Timothy 3:17). Biblical counselors believe and teach that man’s basic problem is spiritual in nature and as such atheists psychologists, who are spiritually dead themselves, have no real or true insight into the human condition. What is usually referred to as “Christian counseling” is different from “Biblical counseling” in that Christian counseling often makes use of secular psychology in addition to the Bible. Behold, this is not to say that a Christian counselor is not also a Biblical counselor. Still, most of the time Christian counselors are Christians who integrate secular psychology into their counseling.
Note that Biblical or nouthetic counselors on their part fully reject secular psychology.
It is worth noting that most psychology is humanistic in nature. Secular humanism rejects faith, the supernatural, and the Bible but explicitly promotes mankind as the highest standard of truth and morality. Thus, secular psychology is man’s self-serving attempt to understand and repair the spiritual side of man without reference to or recognition of the supernatural. Nevertheless, the Bible explicitly declares that mankind is a unique creation of God, made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26, 2:7). The Bible clearly deals with man’s spirituality, including his Fall into Sin, sin’s consequences, and man’s present relationship with God.
The Problem with Secular Psychology
Secular psychology is centered on the atheist ideas that man is basically good and that the answers to his problems fully lie within him. The Bible tells us something completely different. Man is not “basically good“; he is “dead in trespasses and sins” (Ephesians 2:1), and the unregenerate heart is “deceitful and beyond all cure” (Jeremiah 17:9). Following this, the biblical counselor takes a drastically different approach: instead of seeking solutions to spiritual problems within one’s own limited mind, he seeks to address the problem of sin, obtain wisdom from above (James 3:17), and apply the Word of God to the situation.
The Difference Between Biblical Counselors, Psychotherapists, and Some Christian Counselors
Biblical counselors, as opposed to psychotherapists, and some Christian counselors, regard the Bible as the one and only main source of a comprehensive and detailed approach to counseling (2 Timothy 3:15-17; 2 Peter 1:4). Biblical counseling is all about letting God speak for Himself through His Word. Furthermore, it seeks to minister the love of the One and only True Living God, a love that deals with the problem of sin and produces obedience.
Psychotherapy is need-based. The needs for acceptance, self-esteem, love, and significance tend to dominate. It is believed that if these needs are met, people will be kind, happy, and moral; if these needs are unmet, people will be hateful, miserable, and immoral. Biblical counseling explicitly teaches that true happiness, peace, and satisfaction can only be achieved from a relationship with God and a pursuit of godliness. For example, while the obedient child of God will find satisfaction in his joyful, unselfish giving (2 Corinthians 9:7), it’s clear that no amount of psychotherapy can make a selfish person unselfish. This is an indication that psychology doesn’t work with Biblical counseling. Secular psychology starts and ends with man and his little ideas. True Biblical counseling points counselees to Christ and the Word of God.
Biblical Counseling Steps
Isaiah 9:6 – “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
Proverbs 15:22 – “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Proverbs 19:20 – “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
Proverbs 11:14 – “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.“
Proverbs 24:6 – “For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.“
Proverbs 12:15 – “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Proverbs 27:17 – “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
John 16:13 – “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.”
Luke 14:28 – “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?“
James 3:17 – “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.“
Proverbs 13:20 – “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
Group 1 – Biblical Counseling Steps
Proverbs 1:7 – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.”
1 Kings 12:6-8 – “Then King Rehoboam took counsel with the old men, who had stood before Solomon his father while he was yet alive, saying, “How do you advise me to answer this people?” And they said to him, “If you will be a servant to this people today and serve them, and speak good words to them when you answer them, then they will be your servants forever.” But he abandoned the counsel that the old men gave him and took counsel with the young men who had grown up with him and stood before him.“
James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
1 Peter 4:11 – “whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
Revelation 1:1 – “The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things that must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John,“
Proverbs 13:10 – “By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.”
Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Group 2 – Biblical Counseling Steps
Proverbs 16:9 – “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.“
Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Proverbs 18:24 – “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 12:5 – “The thoughts of the righteous are just; the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.”
Proverbs 28:26 – “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.“
John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.“
Ecclesiastes 4:13 – “Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice.”
Group 3 – Biblical Counseling Steps
Proverbs 14:15 – “The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps.“
Colossians 3:23 – “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,“
1 Corinthians 4:14 – “I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children.”
Jeremiah 38:15 – Jeremiah said to Zedekiah, “If I tell you, will you not surely put me to death? And if I give you counsel, you will not listen to me.”
Genesis 2:18 – Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Psalm 119:24 – “Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.“
1 Peter 4:8 – “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
Isaiah 41:10 – “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.“
2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
Proverbs 12:18 – “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.“
Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits t